Do you ever find that your brain gets stuck on certain thoughts and it feels nearly impossible to shift your focus onto something else? It wouldn’t be so bad if those thoughts were about the amazing vacation you just took, the delicious meal you’re going to cook tonight, or a soul-healing phone call you just had with your long-distance best friend. Unfortunately, these types of thoughts aren’t the ones that tend to get trapped inside our brains. Instead, it’s the negative thoughts, the worries and fears, and the thoughts that make us sad, nervous, regretful, or scared. Worst of all, it can feel like these thoughts are out of our control and occurring in a spontaneous, relentless, and intrusive manner.
Why Do We Have Intrusive Thoughts?
Understanding Obsessions, Rumination, and Unwanted Thoughts
Clinically, intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts that spontaneously enter one’s consciousness, are difficult to suppress or ignore, and cause emotional distress. Some intrusive thoughts, such as obsessions, are incongruent with one’s mood or values. For example, someone may obsess over whether they might accidentally blurt out an inappropriate word during a job interview, despite having no desire to do so or any history of trouble with verbal inhibition.
Rumination is another type of intrusive thought that is characterized by repetitive thinking with a focus on past mistakes, events, or perceived failures. These thoughts are unwanted yet highly “sticky” and hard to dismiss. Notably, they do not contribute to any goal-directed action. That is, replaying a conversation in your head again and again does not reverse the past or prepare you to behave differently next time. An example of rumination may be getting stuck in a loop of anger, confusion, and disappointment when you were passed over for a promotion (e.g., “How dare they not give me this opportunity, I’ve been so loyal and gotten nothing in return, I should have answered that interview question in a different way, things like this always happen to me…” etc.).
Worry is yet another type of intrusive thought that, unlike rumination, is focused on the future. For example, someone might experience a chain of worried thoughts about an upcoming interview, such as “What if I don’t get the job? What if I can’t pay my mortgage? If I don’t get this job, I probably will be rejected from other jobs as well. I’m going to be so humiliated if I’m rejected yet again,” etc.
How to Respond to Everyday Intrusive Thoughts
When people experience intrusive thoughts, they often work hard to suppress them. It is natural to want to rid yourself of an unpleasant experience. However, there are two reasons why trying to get rid of intrusive thoughts is counterproductive. First, intrusive thoughts are a form of spontaneous thought. Spontaneous, involuntary thoughts (e.g., mind wandering, daydreaming, etc.) make up half or more of all thought activity. They can be positive, negative, or neutral. “I wonder when the next season of Survivor starts” is a spontaneous thought I just had while writing this blog. Spontaneous thought serves an important purpose; it is the basis of creativity (like having an “a-ha!” moment) and is useful in problem-solving and future planning. If we were to eliminate all intrusive thoughts, we would miss out on these important functions as well. Second, by trying to ignore or suppress the thought, you are actually devoting more attention and mental energy to it; the simple act of saying/thinking “Don’t think about that” causes you to think about it even more. Similarly, interacting with your intrusive thoughts in other ways, such as by trying to rationalize your worries away or reassuring yourself that your big fear is unlikely to occur, causes more attentional resources to be directed to the thoughts. Thus, the thoughts become even stickier in the brain. Therefore, a common goal in therapy is not to eliminate intrusive thoughts but rather to change your relationship to them and find ways to cope with them.
When Intrusive Thoughts Become Distressing
While occasional intrusive thoughts are a normal part of how the mind works, when these thoughts become frequent, feel overwhelming, or begin interfering with daily life, it is important to seek support and explore the possible causes. For some individuals, therapy can provide helpful tools for understanding these thoughts, reducing distress, and developing healthier ways to respond. For others, a medical evaluation may also be an important step in identifying whether there are physical, neurological, medication-related, or other health factors contributing to these changes.
How to Get Unstuck from Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts can be particularly sticky because they trigger strong emotions. The brain tends to assume these thoughts are important, valuable, and true, and therefore the brain overestimates their significance. If you can train your brain to treat an unwanted intrusive thought as no more than a random firing of neurons (no more important or meaningful than my thoughts about the next season of Survivor!), they become a lot less gripping.
Distraction is another key coping tool. Cognitive distraction is the idea of redirecting your mental focus when you catch yourself feeling overrun with intrusive thoughts. It’s similar to changing the TV channel when a show comes on that you don’t like – once you notice your brain is stuck, change your focus to something else. If your brain keeps returning to those intrusive, sticky thoughts, simply change the channel again and again. It can be helpful to have a particular topic or memory cued up so that it’s easier to shift focus in the moment. Behavioral distraction is also quite effective. When you are stuck in worry-mode, get out of your head and into your body – go for a walk, do some jumping jacks, bake brownies, knit a scarf, clean the bathroom, etc.
In sum, unwanted intrusive thoughts have the potential to be sticky and all-consuming. Their spontaneous nature and emotional content falsely lead people to overestimate their importance. The natural response is often to actively try to ignore or suppress the thoughts. However, this inadvertently gives the intrusive thoughts greater attentional priority. Instead, consider the thoughts as purely spontaneous and unimportant – just a byproduct of the brain’s neural firing. Then turn your attention to a pleasant memory or an engaging topic or activity.
The goal is not to eliminate every unwanted thought, but to better understand what is happening and determine the right support. With appropriate care, which may include therapy, medical guidance, or a combination of both, individuals can learn to manage distressing thoughts, regain a sense of stability, and improve overall well-being.
Ashley Dennin, Psy.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
About the Author:
Dr. Ashley Dennin, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist at FamilyFirst Psychological Services, a mental health practice serving the Vienna, VA area, with expertise in providing individual psychotherapy to older children, adolescents and adults. She uses psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioral, and mindfulness techniques to help clients identify areas for growth and change. She has particular expertise in trauma, depression, anxiety, relationship problems, family conflict, life transitions, and emerging adulthood. Dr. Ashley Dennin is a PSYPACT provider.
