As we approach this season of thankfulness, I have been thinking a lot about how we can teach our children the skill of gratitude. As a therapist, I often work with parents and children on managing big feelings like anxiety, anger, and frustration. However, one of the most powerful and proactive tools for building childhood resilience is one we sometimes overlook: gratitude. Teaching thankfulness isn’t just about instilling good manners or forcing a “thank you” at the right moments. It’s about helping children genuinely recognize the good in their lives, which fosters empathy, optimism, and connection.
But in a world that seems to encourage instant gratification and a desire for “more, more, more”, how do we teach gratitude to our children?
It begins with shifting their perspective. Gratitude is a skill, and like any skill, it requires practice. Research consistently shows that children who practice gratitude are happier, have stronger friendships, and are better able to cope with challenges. It helps shift their mental focus from what they lack to what they have, which is a cornerstone of positive mental health.
The first and most important step is to model it yourself. Let your children hear you say, “I’m so thankful for this sunny day,” or “I really appreciate you helping me clean up.” Verbalize your own gratitude often.
Second, make thankfulness a ritual. This can be as simple as asking everyone at the dinner table to share one good thing that happened from their day. Another powerful activity is involving children in acts of service. Helping them write a thank-you note to a teacher, picking out canned goods to donate, or making a card for a grandparent connects the feeling of gratitude with a concrete action. When they receive a gift, gently prompt them to think about the person who gave it. This connects the gift to the relationship, not just the object.
Cultivating a thankful heart is a process that takes time and daily consistency. It won’t happen overnight. But these small, intentional practices will lay the foundation for a more resilient, empathetic, and joyful child. By nurturing gratitude, you are giving your child a core strength that will support their emotional well-being for a lifetime.
Michelle Molina, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker