How to Haul Ourselves Out of Thinking Traps
One of the major principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is that so-called cognitive distortions bring us a lot of unnecessary misery. Cognitive distortions are also known as thinking errors, thinking traps, or as therapist David Pratt has nicknamed them, “stinking thinking.” Thinking traps are misperceptions and failures of logic that leave us feeling angry, frustrated, ashamed, embarrassed, anxious, or disappointed.
Common thinking errors include:
- All-or-nothing thinking. Thinking that something is either all good, or all bad. Example: a student deems her report card a complete failure because one B+ negates all the other A’s.
- Overgeneralization. Taking an isolated incident and using it to make a broad, and usually negative, generalization. Example: “I got one thumbs-down on my social media post. Everyone is against me.”
- Catastrophizing. Thinking that when one little thing goes wrong, it’s the end of the world. Example: A wonderful party with delicious food and drinks, festive ambience, and lots of opportunities for people to make real connections becomes a total fiasco in the host’s mind because their souffle fell.
- Disqualifying the positive. Discounting any positive input that conflicts with one’s negative view of oneself or of a situation. This is frequently seen when we try to disprove compliments we receive. Example: if someone compliments my outfit, I reply with, “No, it’s really wrinkled” instead of simply saying, “Thank you.”
- Fortune telling. Predicting the outcome of a situation before it happens. Example: “I’m going to bomb my audition.”
- Emotional reasoning. Making decisions based on feelings alone, without considering objective reality. Example: “That woman looks a bit like my evil ex-mother-in-law, so she must be a terrible person.”
- Mind-reading. Being certain that you know what someone else is thinking without confirming it. Example: “He didn’t say hi to me in the hall today, so he must be mad at me.”
If we could correct these thinking errors, we would feel better, but it’s tough: once emotion takes over, it’s hard to get the logical brain back online to set ourselves straight. So how do we haul ourselves out of these thinking traps, or avoid tumbling into them in the first place?
- Awareness. Being aware that we sometimes experience these cognitive distortions is the first step to combatting them.
- Pausing. When we find ourselves thinking negatively about something, pause for a quick timeout. Take a few breaths then ask yourself, “Is there another way to think about this?” or “What might a different perspective be?”
- The “would-I-ever-say-this-to-a-friend?” test. If a friend came to you with a cognitive distortion, would you say, “Yeah, you’re right, your party was a total disaster,” or would you put forth a less damning judgment, such as, “Yeah, too bad about your souffle, but your guests told me how much they enjoyed the other 15 dishes you prepared.”
Bottom line: Just because you think it doesn’t make it true. Do some fact-checking on yourself before you assume the worst!
Sarah Ince, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
About the Author:
Ms. Sarah Ince, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 25 years’ experience. At FamilyFirst Psychological Services, a mental health practice serving the Vienna, VA area, she collaborates with clients to spotlight their inherent strengths and use those to mitigate life challenges. She provides therapy to children as young as five, adolescents and adults, addressing challenges and issues related to anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, ADHD, autism, parenting, identity, grief, LGBTQIA+, adoption and adjustment. She specializes in Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) such as hair pulling and skin picking. Her therapeutic approaches include mindfulness, CBT, DBT, psychoeducational, person-centered, emotionally focused and strengths-based approaches. Ms. Sarah Ince is also licensed in the state of North Carolina.
