Many busy adults find themselves in a stage of life called the “sandwich generation”. This term refers to a period of time in which parents are simultaneously caring for their children and their aging parents. They are “sandwiched” between two generations who need time, money, and emotional support. For example, a parent might spend the morning coordinating a child’s school schedule and activities, then spend the afternoon arranging medical appointments or managing medications for an aging parent, often while trying to keep up with work and household responsibilities. Parenting can be challenging on its own, and the added responsibility of caring for older family members can lead to stress, emotional and financial strain, and exhaustion. It can also create time management overload, with little time left for your own physical and mental health priorities. Parents in the sandwich generation may also feel guilty about caring for themselves when so many people are relying on their time, attention, and care. Fortunately, there are helpful strategies parents can use to prevent these caregiving circumstances from creating too much strain.
Practical tips for the sandwich generation:
- Have open family conversations. Talk about financial planning, division of responsibilities, and how everyone is feeling. Clear communication prevents future challenges.
- Set clear boundaries. Learn to say “no” when needed. You can be compassionate, caring, and supportive without doing everything for everyone.
- Ask for help. Let others help when you are feeling overwhelmed. Asking for help also fosters social connections, which can be particularly valuable during times of stress.
- Fill your own bucket. You can’t pour from an empty cup—making time for yourself matters, even when it feels like there isn’t enough time.
- Stay organized. Written calendars, schedules and routines can reduce stress and offer a practical way for others to step in and help.
- Be aware of burnout. Signs of burnout may include changes in sleep, mood, and/or energy. Seek emotional support from friends/family members or consider individual therapy. Therapy can help you navigate the challenges that come with this transitional family phase.
We hope these tips will be useful for reducing the stress that often develops when caring for children and aging parents at the same time. It also may help to remember that you are doing something valuable and meaningful…and that this sandwich generation phase is temporary.
–Stephanie M. Heese
Practice Manager and Mental Health Counseling Grad Student
About the Author:
Stephanie Heese is the Practice Manager at FamilyFirst Psychological Services, a mental health practice serving the Vienna, VA area, where she supports clinical operations and client care. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology with concentrations in clinical psychology and health psychology from George Mason University, where she graduated with honors. She is currently pursuing her master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Wake Forest University and is working toward becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC).
As she continues her clinical training, Stephanie’s areas of interest include anxiety, emotionally abusive relationship dynamics, women’s mental health, and life transitions such as parenthood, career and relationship changes, and empty nesting. She is also interested in supporting teens and young adults navigating educational and college challenges, parenting concerns, and individuals caring for chronically ill loved ones.
