Many couples wait until it is an emergency to come to couples therapy. Yes – infidelity, financial crisis, or other emergency situations such as a significant breakdown in communication are clear reasons to engage in couples therapy. However, many other typical and common experiences also can indicate a need for couples therapy. If couples become intentional about the structure and dynamics of their relationship prior to an emergency, it is far more likely the relationship will be successful. This blog explores several reasons to begin or return to couples therapy.

1) Infidelity, financial crisis, or other relationship ruptures: Couples therapy may be the last thing that you think about as you navigate big ruptures in your relationship such as infidelity or a partner losing their job. However, couples therapy can significantly reduce the damage caused. Couples therapy can help with de-escalation of the distress while minimizing the development of adverse patterns of interacting during survival mode.

2) New stage in family life cycle: All families go through various stages of a family life cycle. These stages can include coupling, becoming parents, parenting young children, parenting adolescents, launching children into adulthood, and empty nesting. Each of these stages beg different approaches to partnering. It is very different trying to come together as a couple with a newborn, an adolescent, or no children in the home. Couples therapy can help couples intentionally adjust patterns and habits to support the new stage of their family.

3) New diagnosis in the family: Couples therapy works, in part, because it is easier for three people to hold hard things than two people. In a couple, partners pass tension back and forth. In couples therapy, there is a third person who can hold tension and provide insight into the processes unfolding. This can be particularly beneficial after a new diagnosis in the family. Couples therapy can help release pressure and then reorient the processes within the couple to better hold a diagnosis and the associated changes.

4) Chronic stress: Chronic stress and/or traumatic experiences impact our ability to be present to one another. We start to protect ourselves more and more, oftentimes unconsciously, and have a harder time being vulnerable and fully present in a relationship. Couples therapy can shed light on the relationship symptoms that chronic stress and traumatic experiences foster. In creating a safe space, members of couples can begin to see hope for healing both individually and relationally.

If you are facing any of these (or other) challenges and think it might be an opportune time for couples therapy, give us a call. We can help you make changes to improve your partnership.

Cassandra Rush, Ph.D., LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist