August always brings with it a range of feelings, including anxiety about the upcoming transition back to school. Some children eagerly anticipate returning to school, meeting their new teachers and re-connecting with their peers.  Others are not quite so enthusiastic.  Here are a few guidelines to keep in mind to ease back-to-school anxiety as the start of the new school approaches.

1. Be a Good Role Model. Remember that one of the ways that our children learn how to think and feel about any particular life challenge is from listening to us. If you appear overwhelmed and anxious regarding the return to school, your child may follow your lead.

2. Validate your Child’s Feelings. Avoid blanket cheerful statements (e.g. “you’ll be fine!” “don’t worry about it”). Even though these statements are meant to be encouraging, they can actually invalidate your child’s feelings instead of providing reassurance. It is very common to be nervous when facing a new situation, and normalizing this experience for your child can actually help to diminish the power that their feelings have over them. 

3. Focus on Positive Coping.  If your child expresses anxiety about going back to school, talk with him or her about strategies for soothing themselves (e.g., taking some deep breaths, thinking about a positive memory). You can also remind your child about past situations when they were nervous at first, but then did just fine once they adjusted and learned the new routine.

4. Problem-Solve. Talk with your child about what, specifically, he or she is feeling afraid of with regard to the return to school. Is it not making friends? missing the bus? getting lost in the school building? If you can get some more information, you can then do some problem-solving with him or her about how to handle their “worst case scenario” fears. Increasing your child’s sense of competence to manage challenges is a great way to decrease their anxiety. 

5. Reinforce Bravery. Sometimes we need a reward when we do something especially difficult! Think about ways to reinforce the behavior of facing fears, whether by giving your child words of praise, or with planning a special treat after they get on that school bus again at the end of summer.

Good luck to everyone with the start of this new school year!

Kathleen Boykin McElhaney, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist