Violence within schools can be very scary for children and families, even when it does not happen at your school, in your area, or even in your country. This is especially true if multiple students are injured or die. Many parents find it hard to know how to approach discussing these events with their children. Concern about making things worse for a child and uncertainty about what to say may lead to remaining silent or discouraging talking about what happened. Media coverage can provide information to parents and students about what has happened and be reassuring to some people. However, the same information can generate emotional distress for other individuals and families. Many parents also don’t know if and/or how to bring up school violence with other parents and school personnel out of concern about potentially creating tension about school policies, gun ownership, politics, etc.

As psychologists, our typical recommendation is for parents to talk to children about school shootings and other violence at schools, with information and discussion tailored to a child’s developmental level and taking into account family values. This may mean talking to siblings separately and about different information. Students should be encouraged to share what they know and then provided with information to correct any misunderstandings. It may be helpful for parents to attend information sessions and support gatherings through their local school system. School personnel are also often available and willing to help support students and families in the aftermath of shootings. In addition, there are a wide variety of resources available through professional and government organizations for parents, students, and school professionals. Selected resources are provided below and can hopefully offer useful information and serve as a starting point for family discussions around these troubling incidents.

National Association of School Psychologists: School Safety and Crisis: https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-safety-and-crisis

American School Counselor Association: Helping Students After a School Shooting: After a School Shooting Resources – American School Counselor Association (ASCA)

American Psychological Association: Gun Violence and Crime: https://www.apa.org/topics/gun-violence-crime

The National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles: www.schoolcrisiscenter.org

Campus Safety Magazine: 51 Years of Data: K-12 School Shooting Statistics Everyone Should Know – Campus Safety (campussafetymagazine.com)

Lastly, do not hesitate to reach out to our practice if you or your child seem to be struggling with these issues and have been unable to effectively use strategies to manage distress.

Joyce Matthews-Rurak, Psy.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist