Recently I saw (again) a meme that says, “Want to achieve a bikini body? Step 1: Get a bikini. Step 2: Put it on your body!” This seems to make the rounds each spring, encouraging us to let go of the seemingly impossible beauty standards and self-criticism so many of us have as the weather warms up and we get ready to spend time enjoying the outdoors in shorts, sundresses, and yes, bathing suits.

I was curious about the origin of this meme, so I did a quick Google search. As soon as I typed “bikini body,” my screen filled up with diet plans and tips on how to look just right. Not the messages I was looking for.

In my therapy practice, I find myself talking frequently with my clients about body image, with struggles both obvious and subtle. At times people will refer directly to being “too fat” or “too skinny,” but other messages lead to the same place. When we scratch the surface of a desire to be “healthy” or “fit,” this often translates to wanting to look a certain way, and inhibiting clothing or activity choices until they are the “right” size or shape.

For many years, the “body positivity” movement has been in our public discourse, as an argument against diet culture and its impact on our emotions and economy. Body positivity centers on the message that all bodies are beautiful – inclusive of all sizes, genders, ethnicities, ages, and abilities. This messaging has played an important role in our society, challenging traditional and narrow expectations, and helping to increase visibility and options for so many people.

At the same time, body positivity poses challenges of its own for many of us. Still speaking the language of appearance, these ideas can keep us focused on what we see in the mirror and on what we assume others think when they see us. For many people, a more realistic and achievable
approach lies in between, in areas called “body neutrality” and “body acceptance.” These shifts in perspective can truly help us feel more comfortable and confident, no matter the season or the outfit.

Body neutrality shifts perspective from negative feelings about your body to appreciation and respect. Focus away from outward appearance and practice the language of gratitude. My heart pumps blood and my lungs circulate the oxygen that feeds my brain, allowing me to think and write and maintain relationships. My legs take me on walks in nature. My nose smells flowers. I am grateful for all these experiences, and for the body that provides them. And work toward
acknowledging positive internal qualities. Compassion, humor, creativity, and so much more are part of being a human who is valuable, unrelated to physical appearance.

An additional facet of body acceptance is treating our bodies with care and kindness. Wear clothes that fit properly and comfortably. Engage in enjoyable physical activity. Honor your body with tasty, nourishing food. Practice self-compassion. Limit your exposure to images and messages that imply you aren’t good enough and seek out supportive relationships. Seek professional help if you feel you need it. We all deserve to enjoy bathing suit season.

Marcia Mofson, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist