Managing Summer Expectations: Helping Kids (and Parents) Navigate the Season

The school year is over (Whew!) and our children’s excitement for summer vacation has likely hit a fever pitch. Images of endless free time, fun activities, and carefree days fill their heads. While summer can indeed be a magical time for kids, it’s important for parents to help manage expectations and create a balanced approach to the season. Here are some key strategies to
ensure a smoother summer for the whole family:

Set Realistic Expectations
Children may imagine a summer filled with non-stop excitement and adventure. Gently explain that while there will be fun times, everyday life continues. Discuss how some days might involve errands, chores, or simply relaxing at home. Help them understand that these quieter moments are also valuable parts of summer.

For ourselves, it is also important to set realistic expectations and recognize that out of routine, in new places, in new circumstances, possibly tired or overstimulated – there will likely be tough moments. Setting realistic expectations, planning for those, and recognizing that tough moments are expected will help things run more smoothly.

Create a Flexible Routine
Without the structure of school, some children may feel adrift. Establish a loose daily routine that includes wake-up and bedtimes, mealtimes, and blocks for activities or free play. This provides a comforting framework while still allowing for spontaneity and relaxation.

Balance Activities and Downtime
While it’s tempting to pack the calendar with camps, trips, and outings, be mindful of overscheduling. Children need time to decompress, use their imagination, and even experience boredom occasionally. This downtime is crucial for creativity and self-regulation skills.

Involve Kids in Planning
Give children some agency in their summer experience. Brainstorm a “summer bucket list” together, including both big adventures and simple pleasures. Let them help plan day trips or choose between activity options. This involvement builds excitement and teaches decision-making skills.

Manage Social Expectations
Summer can be a time of shifting social dynamics as school friendships may be less accessible.

Help your child understand that it’s normal for social interactions to change and encourage them to explore new friendships through summer activities or neighborhood play.

Address Academic Concerns
Some children may worry about losing academic ground over the summer. If this is a concern, incorporate light, fun learning activities into your routine. This might include reading time, educational games, or real-world math practice like cooking or budgeting for activities.

Prepare for Transitions
As summer progresses, gradually adjust routines to ease the eventual return to school. In the weeks before school starts, begin shifting bedtimes and wake-up times closer to the school-year schedule. Don’t try to switch bedtime in one night. Instead, back it up 15 minutes until you are back to the school schedule.

Model Flexibility and Resilience
Inevitably, some summer plans will go awry due to weather, illness, or unforeseen
circumstances. Use these moments to model adaptability and problem-solving. Show children how to make the best of unexpected situations and find joy in Plan B.

Encourage Reflection and Gratitude
Help children appreciate their summer experiences by encouraging reflection. This could involve keeping a summer journal, creating a scrapbook, or simply discussing highlights at dinner. Practicing gratitude for both big and small moments enhances overall satisfaction with the season.

Remember Self-Care
In the midst of managing children’s expectations and experiences, don’t forget about your own needs as a parent. Carve out time for self-care and adult interactions to maintain your own well-being throughout the summer months.
By setting realistic expectations, maintaining flexibility, and focusing on a balance of activities and downtime, families can create a summer that is enjoyable and enriching for children. Remember, the goal isn’t a perfect, Instagram-worthy summer, but rather one filled with growth, connection, and meaningful memories.

Jennifer P. Lail, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist