As I opened my laptop to write today, I passed by headlines about wildfires and floods related to climate change, increasing COVID-19 numbers, economic instability, political scandals, and the fear and anger experienced and expressed by leaders and followers in our almost unthinkably polarized society. And in my clinical practice, I find myself spending more and more time talking with clients about the anxiety they experience navigating daily life. It is becoming increasingly difficult, it seems, to counteract the negativity surrounding us. 

In the face of these burdens, I would like to discuss ideas that may seem radical: practicing kindness and finding delight. 

First – kindness. While kindness can take many forms, research shows that following the specific practice of performing five acts of kindness in one day, preferably a variety of actions, can lead to a significant boost in happiness 1. These acts can be big or small – feeding a stranger’s parking meter, holding a door open, helping a friend with a chore, paying an unexpected compliment, donating blood, buying coffee for the person in line behind you, calling someone you haven’t seen in a while just to say you’re thinking of them, the list can go on and on. Since many of these acts are quite small and brief, collecting five in one day helps you remember and savor them. The researchers believe that this practice helps you become more aware of positive social interactions, increase your prosocial attitudes towards others, and think more highly of yourself.

Second – delight. The Book of Delights: Essays 2 is a collection of short essays, some only a paragraph, some several pages long, selected from a year-long project by the poet Ross Gay. Each day, he tasked himself with writing about something that brought him delight that day. As with acts of kindness, delights can be quite small or quite profound. And in reading this book, it became clear to me that delight can be found in the context of sadness and fear as well as in times of happiness. I recommend reading this book, and equally importantly I recommend adopting this practice. Even for those of us who are not writers, there is tremendous power in setting the expectation that moments of delight (or wonder, or awe) should be noted, savored, and remembered. Again, delights can be small moments – seeing a rabbit on the path during a morning walk, tasting a particularly good summer peach, hearing from an old friend, receiving an unexpected compliment (see above!). 

Both of these practices require very little in resources such as time or money. What they do require is choice – choosing to find and create positive moments in the midst of incredibly difficult times. Practices that increase emotional well-being can have long-lasting benefits on mental and physical health, and practices that increase prosocial attitudes and behaviors are crucial to creating an environment in which people can work together to solve the biggest challenges of our time. The payoffs can be profound.

Marcia Mofson, Ph.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

1. Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131.
2. Gay, Ross. The Book of Delights: Essays. Algonquin Books, 2019.