With the Olympics fast approaching, I am eagerly anticipating sitting on my couch watching non-stop television for three weeks.  In addition to the pomp and circumstance of it all, I have always loved watching the incredible athleticism and am completely awestruck by what the human body can achieve.  There is something so impressive about watching the world’s greatest athletes compete on the world stage, knowing that they have devoted their lives to their craft and truly represent the best of the best in their sport.  Becoming an Olympian is a rare feat and a massive accomplishment.  However, I have been reading interviews lately with several former Olympians about the dark side of competitive sports; how many athletes come to depend on the adulation of the crowd and never reach full satisfaction despite their many accolades.  Even a gold medal does not stop them from wanting to top more records, try even harder, be even faster.

There is obviously something to be said for hard work and striving for greatness, and thankfully there seems to be a cultural shift taking place where our focus is more on the process than the end result.  The point is to just try your best, not necessarily be the best.  Nonetheless, I am hearing more and more kids and teens criticize themselves for their skills (or lack thereof) and feel self-conscious about how they fall short in comparison with others.  It got me thinking, what’s so wrong with just being average?  Or perhaps even more radical, what’s so wrong with putting forth moderate effort rather than your best?

Life is not always easy.  Sometimes putting in maximum effort is too hard.  Learning to rest, to give yourself a pass, to embrace mediocrity can be the kindest, gentlest thing you can do for yourself.  Being average does not mean you are falling short.  In fact, by definition, most people are average at whatever they do.  Although perhaps not the best approach or mindset for everyone, I believe that embracing mediocrity can be a form of self-care.  Ultimately, it is about self-acceptance and being content with your current self.  Striving for greatness – or worse, perfection – often leads to disappointment, frustration, and criticism, whereas self-acceptance may lead to satisfaction, calm, gratitude, and happiness.  Not everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder.  Not everyone wants to be an Olympian.  And that is okay.  It doesn’t mean that you are wasting your talent or that you can’t find enjoyment from what you do.  You are enough, exactly as you are, and your worth derives from who you are, not what you accomplish.

Ashley Kaplan, Psy.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist