Tips for Handling 3 Words:
“I Am Bored”
In the summertime more so than other times of the year I often hear parents say, “My child keeps complaining, ‘I am bored’.” This is not uncommon given that during the school year most children have a daily routine with an established schedule of academic and extra-curricular activities that keep them occupied. Learning how to manage emotions including how to be bored is one of the most important tasks of childhood. There are many different kinds of feelings that are all normal and experienced by everyone. This blog focuses on feeling bored. It is normal for children to feel bored when they have nothing to do, no one to play with, or when something is not interesting to them. Nobody likes to feel bored. However, there are always options for things to do even if it means children play by themselves and self-entertain. Many children and families choose to be overscheduled, consistently occupied with actively doing something, or resorting to electronics as a means of entertainment because children are not sure what else to do. Instead of trying to avoid feeling bored, it is healthy and important for children to grow a level of boredom tolerance. This time of the year with school ending and summer break beginning many parents ask, “What can I do when my child complains, ‘I am bored’?” Tips for parents to respond to their children’s complaints of feeling bored in ways that will help foster their ability to handle and cope with this normal emotion include:
- Offer praise. It is important that praise is given when children label and express how they are feeling using words (e.g., “You are doing a nice job naming and sharing how you are feeling”).
- Express empathy. Parents can do this by expressing to their children that they understand what it is like to feel bored (e.g., “I too have been bored and know what it feels like”). You may want to further share a specific example of when this happened to you recently and how you got through it.
- Encourage positive self-talk. Help children understand that “Boredom is okay” and express, “You can handle it.” Parents can further add, “Remember that others also feel bored as well.”
- Make a list. Assist children in making a list of interesting things to do when there is no one to play with, no computer to play on, and no TV. I recommend these activities are listed (and posted in their room) on a notecard or paper for children to remind themselves next time they complain of being bored (e.g., go outside and throw some hoops, ride a bike, draw with chalk on the driveway, play with my toys, exercise, do some puzzles, play with my pet, etc.).
- Encourage creativity. Encourage children to think “out of the box” and be creative and inventive such as making something up (e.g., a story, building something on their own from Legos, crafts, painting, baking, make something out of nothing, creating a scavenger hunt for the family to participate in later, etc.).
- Encourage quiet activity. Sometimes children may find listening to soft/calming music, playing with fidgets, reading a book or listening to an audiobook, drawing/painting, playing with a sand tray, taking a nap, doing some yoga exercises and/or mindful mini meditations, etc. as helpful for overcoming boredom.
For additional parent support/tips to keep in mind over the summer break you can refer to previously posted blogs titled, “Too Much Stimulation or Too Little: Aiming for Just Right this Summer” and “Preventing Meltdowns in Children During the Summer Break.”
Maria Kanakos, Psy.D
Licensed Clinical Psychologist