Quite often, thoughts may go through our heads that are disturbing. These thoughts sometimes make us angry, sometimes sad, and sometimes worried or scared. While these feelings are perfectly okay, there are times when we all would prefer to “change the channel” on our thoughts, and to shift our focus to something more pleasant and less upsetting. For example, negative thoughts have the potential to keep us up at night, distract us from getting something done, or just plain interfere with our enjoyment of our day-to-day lives.
When faced with unwanted thoughts, there are several ways to “change the channel” and shift your focus. These strategies often take practice to work well, so don’t be discouraged if at first they are not successful. Learning how to shift your focus is sometimes like building up a muscle – practice and repetition are often required before you can master this skill.
- Sing a song – any song, but preferably one that you like and know most of the words to. Sing it loudly, sing it softly. Sing it with a funny accent. Close your eyes and imagine yourself singing it in an amazing costume onstage, or alone in a forest, or to a favorite person or pet. (Or actually sing it to a favorite person or pet!).
- Play a “name game.” Any mental exercise that is engaging enough will do, but one fun variation is a “name game.” Think of names of famous people (or people you know), and make them into a chain, so that the first letter of the last name has to be used as the first letter of the next person’s first name.
- Play an “alphabet game.” Think of fruits and vegetables that start with each letter of the alphabet. Or places. Or people’s names. Or objects. There are lots of possibilities.
- Count backwards by 3s from 100. Or from 200. Then do it again.
- Plan your next vacation, or plan your dream vacation. Think of as much detail as you possibly can. Where will you go? Who will you be with? Where will you stay? What will you do? What will you wear? What will the weather be like?
- Re-play the plot of your favorite book, movie or TV show. Think about all of the characters, the dialogue, and the scenes. Which ones were your favorites? Which ones made you smile or laugh? Which ones do you admire and why?
- Re-play a favorite positive memory. Again, think about as much detail as you possibly can. Who? What? Where? When? Why?
- Imagine yourself in a lovely, relaxing, peaceful spot. This spot can be a real place or an imaginary place. Now do a survey of your 5 senses and concentrate on what each of them is registering while you imagine you are in that peaceful spot. What do you see when you look straight ahead? How about to your left and right? What do you hear close by? How about far away? What do you feel? Taste? Smell? Take as long as you possibly can to fully explore and appreciate your peaceful place.
- Concentrate on your 5 senses in the here and now. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Repeat as often as necessary.
- Concentrate on each part of your body. Start at the bottom and work your way up. Name each part in your head. Think carefully about each part. What is the best thing about that part of your body? Name one good thing for each part you focus on. Stretch and wiggle each part if you want to.
People often find that bothersome thoughts return, despite their best efforts. That doesn’t mean that the strategy isn’t working or that you aren’t doing something correctly. It just means that sometimes certain thoughts nag at us no matter what. As a final, bonus strategy: it also can be helpful to just notice a thought and let it go. Imagine the thought on a train that is pulling out of a station, or attached to a balloon that is flying away, or on top of a leaf that is drifting away down a stream.
Kathleen Boykin McElhaney, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist