Many of us were glued to our television sets this summer watching the Olympic gymnastic competitions. We sat in awe of the athletes’ graceful movements on the balance beam and envied their talent and opportunity. While we may never be Olympic competitors, we can learn to balance “Olympic-style” in our daily lives. With the start of a new school year, learning to nurture balance in our everyday lives, however, may seem as much of a pipedream as being an actual Olympic gymnast.
Balance can be conceptualized in three domains: physical, emotional, and relational. These domains interact with one another, so if we are out of balance in one domain we are often out of balance in the others. Within the physical domain, diet, sleep/wakefulness, work/play, and exercise/rest need to remain balanced for a healthy life. Experiencing a wide range of both positive and negative emotion including happiness, joyfulness, love, sadness, appropriate anger, frustration, and fear, and managing these feelings in an appropriate manner reveal emotional balance. And relational balance occurs when we balance shared and alone time, and we calibrate time with children, significant others, parents, and friends. When we are balanced in these domains, we feel, and probably actually are healthier.
Maintaining a balanced body through a healthy diet, adequate sleep and exercise, and both playing and working just hard enough may decrease the disease process. When our bodies are out of balance and stressed we secrete stress hormones which can increase the likelihood of inflammation and illness. Being overweight can increase the chances of getting diabetes, heart disease and stroke, cancer, and joint ailments. Balancing what we eat and how much we eat, along with getting daily exercise, can therefore increase our chances of living a healthier life. Inadequate sleep, less than 7-8 hours per night, has been linked to obesity, attention and behavioral problems, and a lowering of the body’s capacity to fight infection. And, if we don’t calibrate work and play in order to be properly stimulated, but not overly stressed, we are more likely to secrete those unhealthy stress hormones.
These same stress hormones are also related to an inability to appropriately regulate emotion. Regulating emotion does not mean we don’t feel. On the contrary it means we experience a wide range of emotion, but we are able to manage intensity and choose appropriate behavioral responses. When we are too emotionally reactive, we are apt to produce more stress hormones than are healthy for us to produce. Practicing mindfulness, yoga, and slow deep breathing can help with emotion regulation.
To be balanced within the relational domain, we need to allow time for the different people in our lives, while not neglecting ourselves and our alone time. One relational role can often seem to dominate the others and it takes effort to make time for all of the important people in our lives. It is not uncommon to feel there is no time for our significant other when we are busy parenting, or we may find that we are neglecting our friends because we are so busy with work and family. Scheduling time in our week for our spouse or a friend or to be alone can help to begin to achieve relational balance.
Just as an Olympic athlete needs to practice in order to achieve mastery, learning to balance physically, emotionally, and relationally requires practice. Balance is a goal to strive for, but it is a goal that may never be reached, and if occasionally it is, it is probably short lived. Being aware of the need for balance and working toward balance may be the best we can do. It would be important to be kind and patient with ourselves as we continue to strive toward this Olympian goal.
Marcia Kaufman, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist