As the school year gets underway, we all are faced with greater demands and levels of stress than just a month ago. And for many of us, the beginning of school leads to thoughts of the holidays, and all the stresses that come with the changing leaves. We are all too familiar with the negative consequences of stress – anxiety, depression, sleep problems, weight gain, aches and pains, the list can go on and on. But could there be ways to face stress positively? Can we embrace it and find benefits?
Now, I am certainly not suggesting that we should rush out to take on too much. The most important thing is to recognize that we all have limits and that we need to do our best to have realistic expectations of ourselves and our children. At the same time, there are ways to change how we think about and approach stressful situations that may ultimately be helpful. Here are some thoughts:
1. Identify what you’re feeling stressed about.
All too often, we can feel a vague anxiety or uneasiness without knowing its cause. Simply by thinking about what is going on and identifying what we’re dealing with can help us to start thinking about solutions and creating plans.
2. Try to actively embrace the stress.
This may seem strange, but often stress can actually serve as a positive source of energy and motivation. Not in every situation, but in many, we can reframe feeling “nervous” or “stressed” as feeling “excited.” In a study published in 2014, Alison Wood Brooks looked at individuals who were experiencing pre-performance anxiety in several situations including public speaking, math performance, and singing karaoke. Individuals who were able to use simple self-talk strategies (such as saying aloud “I am excited”) or to tell themselves to view the situation as an opportunity rather than a threat both felt better and performed better.
3. Learn from stressful situations.
It can be extremely helpful to view each situation as an opportunity to learn and grow. Take a look at the last time you faced a similar source of stress. Did your reaction help you or hinder you? If you feel good about something you did, like organize your time and prepare, try to replicate that success. At the same time, if you recognize something you did that made things more difficult, like hesitating to ask for help, do your best to approach the situation differently.
4. Focus on your response rather than on the situation.
One of the main reasons we experience the feeling of stress is that we can’t always control the situations we face. Students don’t choose when teachers schedule exams, employees don’t pick their own deadlines, and parents certainly don’t control their children’s moods. We can, however, find some sense of control over our reactions to these situations. Utilizing approaches like those discussed above can help us feel better about the particular situation, but even more so, can help us feel better about ourselves and our ability to handle what life throws at us.
5. Finally, take care of yourself!
In order to deal with the demands and stresses of the busy lives we lead, it’s crucially important to be in the best mental and physical health we can. Eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, spending time with those who support us, and engaging in activities like yoga or meditation that keep us grounded, can help us have the tools we need to make the most of every stressful situation (I mean, make the most of every opportunity).
Marcia Mofson, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Source: Brooks, Alison Wood. (2014). Get Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitement. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2014, 143(3), 1144-1158.