When a child is diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder it is important to understand that this disorder influences the entire family. Parents of children with ADHD often report elevated stress levels and frustrations around parenting. It is important to keep in mind that “traditional” parenting techniques are ineffective when trying to manage the behavioral problems associated with ADHD. Below is a list of tips to help you begin creating an ADHD friendly environment within your home.
Provide structure and daily routine. Children with ADHD are much more successful in environments that are predictable and structured. It is important to establish morning and evening routines in your household (e.g., homework, dinner, and bed time routines). To avoid behavioral pitfalls and allow children to transition more smoothly, provide ample warning when something in the schedule or routine changes.
Establish concrete, clearly defined house rules. Make a list of the most important rules you would like your child to follow and define these clearly. For example, when asking a child to “be good” or “be respectful”, a parent needs to be mindful that these are broad terms and are left to a child’s interpretation if not defined more specifically. In these instances, listing what constitutes good and respectful behavior is important for success (e.g., use nice words, wait your turn, etc.)
Build an incentive system for following house rules. Behavioral incentive charts are an efficient way to keep track of a child’s successes and promote motivation. The charts should target a few behaviors that the child is trying to improve. Rewards that were established ahead of time should be provided for following the behavioral expectations. For example, if the two or three household rules are followed for the day, the child can earn extra playtime or a special treat that day. Daily reward systems are best when first starting any behavioral plan. Eventually, you can reward the child after longer increments of time have passed, such as the end of the week. It is noteworthy, for behavioral plans to be successful keep in mind the following:
1) Be consistent; both parents need to operate under the same house rules and use the same rewards;
2) Define the behavioral expectations in positive terms (e.g., “use your words” versus “no hitting”);
3) Charts should be presented in visual formats and easily understood by the child;
4) Develop a list of rewards in advance for display of desired behaviors;
5) Be patient and set up realistic expectations when first starting the charts;
6) Have the child check off or place a sticker next to the behavior he/she has accomplished at the end of the day; and
7) Help start the day on a positive note by reminding the child of the behaviors he/she is working on and what rewards follow.
Provide daily praise. It is easy to catch the negative behaviors and point them out, but seeing the good seems to take more effort. Catch your child doing what he/she is supposed to be doing and let them know it.
Organize the household. A disorganized household inhibits the child with ADHD from learning how to organize him/herself. Reduce clutter and use a system where every item has its place. You can help your child be more organized by promoting the use of a “launching pad” where he/she puts out all the things needed for school (backpack, shoes, jacket, completed homework, etc.) in one place near the doorway. Additionally, encouraging the use of labeled bins for items in the child’s room is useful for finding things and un-clutters the environment.
Set up a system for homework. Establish a daily homework time in a designated homework spot. The homework area should be clutter-free and away from noise and distractions. For younger children, it is best that the homework place be located at a place where you can see the child and access him/her as needed for help, redirection, and motivational praise. Other things to keep in mind that will help reduce homework battles include,
1) Break homework into smaller increments and provide short breaks after each part is finished;
2) Use timers to help keep the child on track;
3) If the child is on medication for ADHD, plan homework during his/her optimal performance window and not too late in the day when the medication is wearing off;
4) Utilize incentive/reward systems as needed for homework completion;
5) If the child is spending too much time on homework despite good effort and focus, contact the teacher to see if accommodations such as reducing his/her workload is warranted; and
6) Do not engage in parent-child homework battles. Preserve your relationship with your child and hire a tutor if necessary.
The ability to implement the above tips successfully in your household relies on establishing a supportive and strong co-parenting team. Additionally, the quality of the parent-child relationship also influences the success of any home-based interventions. As such, foster positive relations between you and your child by focusing on his/her effort, catching him/her being good, providing empathy for his/her struggles, and scheduling routine “special time” weekly.
Maria Kanakos, Psy.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
September 28, 2010