For most people, they will never forget where they were or how they felt in those first few hours and days following the attacks of 9/11. With the ten year anniversary approaching, strong and varied emotions seem to be resurfacing for many individuals. While emotional reactions are expected and completely normal in response to such a horrific event, it is important to consider the impact our reactions as adults are having on our children. The American Psychological Association has an area of their website dedicated to the 9/11 Anniversary and children: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/september-anniversary.aspx.
On their website, they provide an excellent discussion guide written by Robin H. Gurwitch, Ph.D., for parents and educators about how to best handle discussions concerning the attacks of 9/11 and terrorism. The guide offers a TEACH model which stands for Talk, Express, Act, Connect, and Help, which is only briefly outlined below. Please visit http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/nick-news.pdf for the full document and for more extensive information.
Talk
Encourage discussion
Ask about any worries or concerns
Listen to what your child tells you
Offer Patience and Empathy
Share your own thoughts and feelings
Express – Understand that everyone reacts to stressful events like 9/11 in individual ways. Also, research has suggested that watching traumatic events on television can be associated with emotional reactions, so even children who weren’t even born or too young to remember the attacks will be witnessing the same visual stimuli that we adults witnessed ten years ago as media attention intensifies over the next few days. Help your child by encouraging them to share their emotions and thoughts, including any spiritual questions, and by monitoring any changes in their behavior or physical condition.
Act – Some children may need to take action so they can feel safe and comfortable. Some actions you and your family can take include:
Establish an Emergency Safety Plan
Encourage Regular Routine During This Emotional Time
Set Realistic Goals Concerning the Future
Keep Health and Wellness in Mind
Connect – By reaching out to others after tragedies, we often feel more connected to each other, which can lead to feeling safer because we begin to see the best in people rather than the worst. Connecting children with various emergency personnel who can educate them about their jobs may help some children feel less stress about their immediate surroundings because they learn there are a wide range of people who are often ready and willing to help.
Help – Helping others often promotes good self-esteem and can empower children. Volunteering is an excellent way for children to get involved in their communities.
One last word on the subject, while it is important to be open and honest with our children it is also important that we protect them; therefore, it is suggested that you monitor your child’s media exposure over the next few days. Also, be sure to let them know that news broadcasts on the television and internet are replaying old footage and that the events are not actually happening in real time.
Mary Kathleen Hill, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist