In recent years there has been increasing concern among parents who seek our services regarding their children and the amount of time that they spend on the computer. Parents often have particular worries about time spent on the internet, whether it be on social media websites, online gaming, or participating in virtual worlds (e.g. Second Life). Concerns range from questions such as: how much time is too much? what websites are appropriate vs. inappropriate? how can I protect my child from internet predators? and how do I think about the virtual relationships with others that my child develops online?
Some parents become concerned that their child is “addicted” to the computer or the internet. Unfortunately this phenomenon of concern over computer or internet “addiction” is so new that psychology has not quite caught up with the times. Physicians, psychologists and educators are all currently struggling to understand what is healthy vs. unhealthy for children (and adults) when it comes to use of the computer and the internet, so that helpful guidance can be offered to parents.
One way to evaluate your child’s relationship to the computer and/or the internet is to fall back on the general criteria that mental health professionals use in order to determine whether a behavior is abnormal and therefore in need of intervention.
1. First, is the behavior atypical? Ask around and talk to your pediatrician: Is the amount of time that your child spends on the computer and /or on the internet typical for his or her age? Are the activities that your child seeks out on the computer age appropriate? The website Common Sense Media has good age-by-age guidelines for both computer games and internet websites: www.commonsensemedia.org.
2. Second, is the behavior maladaptive? Does amount of time spent on the computer interfere with your child’s daily functioning and/or responsibilities? Does he/she neglect homework, friends, and/or family in order to spend time on the computer? Is his or her mood adversely affected by time on the computer? Does he or she lose sleep and/or skip meals to spend time on the computer? Is he/she engaging in activities on the computer or internet that puts him/her at risk (e.g. giving out personal information, sending inappropriate pictures)?
3. Thirdly, is the behavior distressing? This question is often difficult to answer when it comes to assessing any particular childhood behavior or activity from a mental health perspective. There are a range of behaviors that are not particularly distressing to the child, but instead are distressing to others around him or her. When thinking about this criteria, consider the amount of conflict your child’s relationship with the computer/internet is causing in your household, as well as the extent of negative feelings that you or your child may have about this issue.
If you have serious concerns about your child’s mental health, including internet or computer addiction and possible related issues such as mood dysregulation, academic underachievement, and/or poor social skills, consult your pediatrician or a mental health professional.
Kathleen Boykin McElhaney, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Posted May 9, 2011