Goal-setting is an important function of personal development. Learning how to set goals effectively is what makes the difference between a wish (“I hope I get all A’s and B’s this semester!”) and a viable action-plan. Goals that are too vague or too lofty are likely to create feelings of failure and frustration rather than pride. To set an attainable goal, it must be S.M.A.R.T.
S = Specific
Many goals are simply too vague, which makes it difficult to identify the necessary steps to achieve them and the benchmarks for determining if/when they have been met. For example, “Getting more involved at school” is not specific enough. Dig deep and figure out what it is that you truly want to do. Define your goal. There are many ways to increase school connectedness; deciding to join the debate team or the music appreciation club are much more specific and concrete goals than simply “getting involved.” In addition, understanding why you are setting your particular goal is another way to enhance specificity and promote follow-through.
M = Measurable
Not all goals may be quantifiable, but if they are, clearly define them in measurable terms so you will know exactly what you are working toward and when the goal has been met. If the goal is to increase weekly exercise, determine the frequency and duration of your desired workouts: Twice per week? Five times per week? 30 minutes per workout? 5 hours per week? (And to go back to the importance of specificity, what constitutes a workout? Walking the dog? Running on the treadmill? Taking a yoga class?)
A = Attainable
It is crucial to set yourself up for success! There is no use in establishing a goal that you have very little chance of attaining. People are unlikely to commit to goals that feel out of reach, and repeated experiences of “failure” can feel demoralizing, which may make one less likely to strive for other goals in the future. Start small, and after experiencing some success, you can push yourself further.
R = Realistic
Ask yourself, “Am I realistically willing and able to work toward this goal?” A goal may be specific, measurable, and attainable, but if you are not truly driven to achieve it, it may be a fruitless endeavor. Goals require motivation and perseverance; if they were easy to accomplish, we would not necessarily need to set goals around them, we would just do them. You have to be willing to try something different than what you are accustomed to in order to achieve your goal. Often, people set goals to please other people or have goals thrust upon them. Make sure that your goal holds some intrinsic value for you. Otherwise, it is unlikely that you will want to push yourself enough to achieve it.
T = Timely
Give yourself a timeframe. Setting a goal that has no temporal boundaries can be anxiety-producing; it may feel like there is no end in sight! Determine a realistic timeframe by when you should be able to accomplish your goal. Adjust the schedule as necessary. Having a deadline is often helpful because it “holds our feet to the fire.” However, be gentle with yourself; if you’re giving it your best effort but are not yet seeing results, don’t give up! Change your timeframe (and possibly alter the goal itself) to make it more attainable.
Here’s an example to put it all together: The overall goal is for a child to have fewer temper tantrums. The S.M.A.R.T goal: In this instance, I will define a tantrum as an episode characterized by kicking and biting (Specific). It is these behaviors that I want to eliminate. At present, my child tends to throw such tantrums approximately once per day. My goal for him is to limit his tantrums to four times per week (Measurable). While ultimately I would prefer my child to never have temper tantrums, this would be an unrealistic goal at the moment, given that he is now having them daily (Attainable). I will keep a weekly record of the frequency of his tantrums for four weeks (while implementing behavioral modification strategies) to determine if this goal has been successfully achieved (Timely). At that point, I can make additional adjustments as needed (e.g., changing the goal to three tantrums per week, redefining tantrums to include yelling, etc.). Although it will be challenging for him and me both, I am committed to helping him gain better control of his emotions, even if his tantrums temporarily increase (Realistic).
Ashley Kaplan, Psy.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist