So, here we are at the beginning of a new school year. We all have that fantasy – this year, we will happily wave goodbye each morning as our stress-free, on-time children leave for the bus stop (or on their bikes, or on foot, or in their carpool). Unfortunately, reality does not often match up. I remember my own school days. My school bus stop was right across the street, so most mornings my mother would watch out the window as I frantically scrambled to gather whatever I had forgotten and looked for matching socks, dashing out the door when she spotted the bus and yelled for me to go. I did manage to successfully get through school and enter the world of adulthood and career, but I remember the transition into the day being uncomfortable at best. And, I will admit, as a mother I have been known to join in the mad rush to get to school on time and even to respond to the desperate phone call to deliver forgotten lunches or homework.
That being said, is there any way to avoid the rushing, stress, conflicts, tardiness, and forgetfulness? There is, but it requires things that can be quite challenging for all families – planning, consistency, and follow-through. Here are a few hints to follow in order to send our children to school relaxed, prepared, fed, and on time.
1. Make lists! Write down tasks, separated into night and morning, in a place everyone will see (whiteboards on the refrigerator are incredibly useful), and check off items as they are completed.
2. At night, do as much as absolutely possible. We all know this in theory, but in practice it involves a number of things:
a. Pack any food the children will need, including lunch, snacks, water, and money for incidentals. Each child’s lunchbox should be in the refrigerator without any other items blocking it.
b. Prepare for breakfast – set out the items you will need and then commit to keeping the table/counter clear until morning.
c. Complete all homework before bed. Waiting until morning to finish anything is just asking for trouble.
d. Parents – do a backpack check and complete any permission slips, teacher correspondence, or any other paperwork and place it in its designated spot in the backpack.
e. Do a room check before bed. You’d be surprised what may turn up.
f. Have your child select the next day’s outfit and commit to wearing it!
g. Pack backpacks and place them by the door.
h. Check the weather forecast and place any jackets, boots, mittens, etc. by the door as well.
3. Do your best to ensure that everyone gets enough sleep. In the real world this is quite difficult, but the benefits of a full night’s sleep cannot be overstated.
4. Determine the morning’s schedule, allowing for as much time as each child needs to wash up, dress, do hair and/or makeup, and eat breakfast. Some children (and some adults) need more time than others, so allow for this.
5. Set an alarm allowing ten extra minutes and keep this alarm time the same each day. If your children get up with an alarm, you will not start the day having to nag them out of bed. And the extra ten minutes takes into account that even the most well-prepared among us run into the unexpected sometimes.
6. Avoid anything that can derail you! Don’t turn on any electronics unless children are at the door with jackets and backpacks on and lunches in hand with time to spare.
This may sound like a lot, but once your family gets into a good routine and develops good habits, you will all be able to start the day equipped to face whatever comes next. The effort is worth it!
Marcia Mofson, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist