Not everyone who experiences stress meets criteria for a psychological disorder. Stress is a relatively common occurrence, and some stress can even be positive – feeling a bit tense can provide the energy and motivation to tackle a challenge. However, as we all know by now, high levels of stress can impede performance, trigger anxiety, and have other negative health consequences. Further, there is evidence that teens are being increasingly adversely affected by stress. A 2013 survey conducted by the American Psychologist Association showed that for the first time since they began collecting data (2007), teens’ self-reported ratings of their stress levels exceeded adults’ reports.
When faced with a stressful situation, we all have 3 basic choices:
1. The first choice is to AVOID the stressful situation. Sometimes if something particular is causing significant distress, the best option is to eliminate it from our lives. To this point, in the APA survey mentioned earlier, more than half of teens reported that managing their time to balance all of their activities is a somewhat or very significant stressor. Recognizing one’s limits, reducing time commitments, and scaling back on activities can be productive ways to reduce stress levels.
2. The second option is to MAKE ADJUSTMENTS to the situation. If a stressor can’t be avoided, there might be something that can be done to change or improve the situation. Can a deadline be pushed back? Can a schedule be changed to allow time for more exercise? Can a difficult person be asked to change his/her behavior? Can a spouse, parent, friend, co-worker or other family member be asked to help?
3. If a situation cannot be avoided and also cannot be changed, there is still a third option: CHANGE YOUR THINKING. Believe it or not, one’s thinking about any given situation can almost always be changed, and this is a very powerful tool to push back against stress and anxiety. Stress inducing thoughts tend to overestimate the likelihood that something bad will happen and overestimate the negative consequences of an event. For example, if a student is heading in a test, he or she might think “I will flunk this test” and also “If I flunk this test, I will not get into college.” Positive self-talk and better reality testing can go a long way towards feeling less stressed and more balanced. With our fear of failing example, thinking: “I have studied as much as I can” “I will probably be fine” or “the rest of my grades are okay, so even if I don’t do well on this test, my overall GPA won’t suffer” would likely be much more realistic and much less stress-inducing.
Obviously some situations are inherently difficult, and thus it can be much more challenging to think about them differently. Losing a loved one is an example of a distressing situation that can’t be avoided or changed, and one that is hard to approach in any way positively. However, even in those circumstances, positive self-talk can still be helpful. For example, saying: “This situation is really hard, but I am handling the best I can” or “I will get through this, even though it hurts a lot right now” are examples of healthy self-talk that can reduce stress.
Finally, when trying to better manage stress, always remember to cover the basics: adequate sleep, good nutrition and sufficient exercise will all help to improve anyone’s overall psychological health.
Kathleen Boykin McElhaney, Ph.D
FamilyFirst Psychological Services
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Portions of this information were adapted from: “Act on the A’s to Manage Stress.” Schab, L. (2008). Beyond the Blues: A Workbook to Help Teens Overcome Depression. New Harbringer Publications.
For more information from the 2013 Stress in America survey, go to: http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2014/02/teen-stress.aspx
Other helpful resources for helping children and teens coping with stress are as follows:
Biegel, G. (2010). The Stress Reduction Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness Skills to Help You Deal with Stress. New Harbringer Publications.
Cuthbert, T. & Kajander, R. (2007). Be the Boss of Your Stress. Free Spirit Publishing.
Fox, A. & Kirschner, R. (2005). Too Stressed to Think: A Teen Guide to Staying Sane When Life Makes you Crazy. Free Spirit Publishing.
Harper, J.C. (2013). Little Flower Yoga for Kids: A Yoga and Mindfulness Program to Help Your Child Improve Attention and Emotional Balance. New Harbringer Publications.
Heubner, D. (2006). What to do When You Worry Too Much. Magination Press.
McLean, K.L. (2004). Peaceful Piggy Meditation. Albert Whitman & Company.