There is an ever-growing body of research suggesting that mindfulness can help children improve their ability to pay attention, calm down when they are experiencing strong emotions, and think more clearly to make better decisions. In essence, mindfulness helps with emotional regulation and cognitive focus. Who doesn’t want that for their kids?
Children often react very strongly and quickly to even small frustrations in life. Sometimes their knee-jerk responses lead to negative behaviors, which in turn often escalate emotions in the child, parents, teachers, and other children. Some simple mindfulness skills can help children learn to slow down to give themselves time to think through their response. Taking a slow, deep breath before reacting is a great place to start.
If you truly want your child to learn mindfulness, you should first consider it yourself. You would have a hard time teaching your children how to play a violin if you’ve never touched a violin. To effectively and authentically teach your child mindfulness, you need to first practice it yourself.
Remember to keep things simple. Mindfulness is a relatively simple concept, so integrating it into one’s life in gentle, subtle ways will probably reap great benefits. Put most simply, mindfulness is awareness. Remember that the goal is to help children to notice their thoughts, feelings, senses, and anything happening in the environment in the moment.
Here are some simple ways to introduce mindfulness to your children:
1. Belly breathing – Place one hand on your belly. Take a deep breath in for a count of 1-2-3-4 and then out for a count of 1-2-3-4 (feel free to change the count to find what feels most comfortable). Notice your belly rise and fall with your breath. Repeat 10 times and try to relax more and more with each breath. (**Children often need guidance and practice, even with this very simple breathing exercise. Remind them to keep their body still and relaxed. When I teach children breathing exercises, some children will arch their backs and push out their bellies on their breaths out. Tell them that if their body is truly relaxed, their belly will rise on a gentle breath in and fall on a gentle breath out.)
2. Mindful listening – Make a sound and ask your child to focus their attention on what they can hear. You can use a bell, hum, or play a note on a piano. Tell your child that you will make the sound, and they should listen carefully until they can no longer hear the sound at all.
3. Take a mindful walk – Take a slow walk through your neighborhood and try to notice all the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations. Set aside a minute or two to walk in silence to notice all of the sounds –a truck backing up in the distance, wind in the trees, children laughing riding bikes, a dog barking. Then share observations with the family as you continue the walk.
4. Practice gratitude – Encourage family members to share one thing they are thankful for each day. In the hustle and bustle of life, it is easy to forget to take a moment to give thanks and appreciate what is good. Spending a few minutes at dinner being thankful can help give everyone a sense of perspective. You may find it becomes the best part of your day.
5. Practice mindful eating – Simple exercises like mindfully eating a strawberry or a piece of chocolate are great introductory mindfulness exercises for kids. Explore the small piece of food, using and focusing on as many of your senses as possible. Start by looking closely at the food – describe its color, texture, shine, etc. Then close your eyes and explore the food with your fingers. Is it hard or soft? Sticky or dry? Smooth or rough? Then take a bite of the food and notice the sensory experience of chewing, tasting, and swallowing. Just notice different aspects of the experience, one sense at a time.
Helping your child begin to slow down, notice their internal sensations and external environment, and think through their reactions more carefully will lead them to be more mindful, which will in turn lead to overall health and happiness.
Paige Fegan, Psy.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist