The best part of Halloween is transforming into something you nor anyone else could imagine you as before…and it’s even better if they don’t recognize you. I remember the Halloween my sister and her boyfriend rented these Darth Vader costumes which prevented anyone from recognizing them. They visited the circuit of Halloween parties without talking– they only breathed! I still fondly recall the thrill of my sister retelling the adrenaline surge that came with people gathering around her just to sit beside mysterious her. I believe that you can achieve this without a costume. It takes breaking a habit, a way of being that defines how you are that you’d like to shake up a little by dropping or adding something from the usual you. A few examples to consider. Would people only recognize you if:
1. You avoided doing a certain chore (the dishes!)
Then…. hop up and initiate helping without being asked
2. You always take something seriously (being on time)
Then….relax just once and focus on getting there happy vs. on-time
3. You always go out to eat to socialize with a friend
Then…surprise them and suggest meeting to lay in the leaves
Let people look at you like you’ve lost your mind. Taking a break from “old you” and putting on the costume of “unusual you” can be great fun. It sends a healthy message about variety in oneself and can be transformational. How many of us design rigorous goals to change in big ways and never get around to it? I think that changing in small ways and seeing the effect on others can be motivation for doing it differently the next time. And if that happens enough, you’ve just changed a habit.
I think people are attracted to change. Ladies, think about the reaction to the last time you got a haircut – the enthusiasm around people’s reaction to it. So rarely do we get an enthusiastic response to same-old, same-old (when was the last time you heard, “Your hair is the same as it’s been the last few months/years and I love it!”?). So the beautiful thing about doing something out-of-the-ordinary is that people are likely to be attracted to you for its newness. Sudden changes, however small, can be a lot like the trick you play on habit, and the reactions you get from others is a lot like the treat you get in life’s bucket. So, as you’re shopping for a costume this season think about doing something little that might get a profound reaction from someone else.
Virginia DeRoma, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist