Summer is a time when everyone takes a good look in the mirror to see how their bodies are going to fare in their bathing suit for their beach trip vacation. Whether it is fine-tuning for a more sculpted look or heading to the gym for a complete overhaul, our goal is the same – challenging ourselves to improve our fitness. It is just as important to take that assessment of ourselves psychologically in the mirror and to make necessary adjustments. How fit do we look when we are trying to see how well we measure up to our ideal? Here are a few things to ask yourself when you are sizing yourself up psychologically:
1. Are you exercising your heart? Are you controlling stress enough in your life to be showing a soft heart to your family? Friends? Self? Do you feel tender when you are talking with others or short-fused? If you feel short-fused a lot, it is probably a sign that you need to slow down and prioritize connecting over accomplishing. Rather than getting our hearts over-wrought with adrenalin over things not being perfect, let’s exercise the part of us that communicates how much people mean to us and get excited about relationships.
2. Crunches: Instead of asking if you are doing enough crunches, a mental health assessment requires you to ask the opposite- Am I crunching too much? Are you crunching time to get more out of the day and finding that you can’t crunch anymore? Are you or your family suffering because of it? How about taking something off your plate that will allow you to crunch less and enjoy more. Can you delegate something you already do and find benefits from it? Can the kids help cook and learn life skills while they are helping out? Have you left enough down time in your day to self-care or do you drop in bed at the end of the day without refueling psychologically? Reserve 10 minutes a day to exercise your right to do what you love to do.
3. How are your pectorals? It may be more important to ask yourself how you are exercising those pectorals, rather than how they look when not being exercised. Ideally, those pectorals are being used to hug and be hugged. Are you incorporating enough touch in your life to feel renewed? If not, try reaching out when you feel most stressed and allow tactile healing to relax you. Touch can bring about endorphins that provide a sense of well-being and peace that resembles the effects of physical exercise.
4. Your backside: Psychologically, we usually need more, rather than less when thinking about our backside. Who has your back in terms of support that you need? Do you have a weekly sitter that allows you to take a date night? Do you have enough help in the home to help you accomplish your household tasks? The next time your birthday comes around, skip the request for cologne or perfume and ask for a home organizer for a few hours or a carpenter for a half day to help you take some things of your to-do list.
When you start your get-fit program for psychological health, stretching will likely be part of it. Behavioral changes require stretching to reach your personal best. Like developing physical muscles, each change you make will help you grow your confidence to live your life more consciously so that you can feel great in the summer, however you might look.
Virginia DeRoma, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist